During the discernment process I had chosen to meditate on the above scripture concerning Abraham’s wife, Sarah, who was blessed by God and gave birth to a child when she was “too old” to have a child. There are many ways of bringing forth new life and that was my prayer. To bring forth new life in old age.
It is still my prayer. And this blog is somehow part of gestation. I am awaiting the birth of new life. What form that new life will take I haven’t a clue. Meanwhile I am pursuing the path that I had hoped to pursue as a deacon. I am involving myself in additional interfaith activities. And I am exploring the experience of growing older and what it means to be “too old.”
Excerpt from a previous blog.
I became ill on Halloween with a case of bronchitis. On Thanksgiving I had to decline a visit to my second son who always invited any family members who were able to gather for the holiday. By Christmas I was worn out when a granddaughter visited me and I required a nap everyday to function. I rallied for a few occasions in January but was anxious for January 30th when I had an appointment to see my primary care physician. Just before my appointment I broke out with an allergic reaction and momentarily lost all sense of balance, tumbling at the top of the stairs. I was very frightened.
I saw my doctor and told him my tale of woe. He ordered blood work for me and since it required fasting, I went in the following morning. Two hours later he called and asked me if I could find a ride to Tufts Medical Center for an appointment. He said that he had conferred with two other doctors and that their concensus of opinion was that there was an 80% probability of my having leukemia! I was stunned and shocked beyond words and scared.
I was 77 years old and lived in a condo alone. Most of my friends are older and don't drive out of town and my younger acquaintenances were all working. I finally reached my priest--The Reverend Karen Ann Campbell--for whom I had worked eight and a half years--and she drove me into Boston and I was hospitalized. I really thought I was going to die.
From this point on my memories will be scattered. I am not finished with my treatment yet and I am still suffering from "chemo brain!" I spent the month of February in the hospital and did very well but I am returning in a week for my first "consolidation." A period of six days receiving a lighter dose of chemotherapy to be followed by a second "consolidation" approximately one month later.
