Fully Rely On God

On our last tour of duty in Germany we met a charming couple who lived in the building next to us.  He was a Colonel in the Army and his British wife had been an actress in London.  Their home was lovely and I fell in love with her collection of Staffordshire dogs that she displayed on a large table placed behind her couch.  I decided that I wanted a collection also, and during a trip to Italy, I saw a winsome looking frog in a store window and decided to collect frogs!  Now it is forty years later and frogs are still finding their way into my collection.  I have collections among my collection--frog cups, frog teapots, frog pitchers, frog t-shirts, frog jewelry, frog planters, frog frames, stuffed frogs, children's frog books for my grandchildren and a few frog books for adults.  My email address is DonaFrog@comcast.net.  I have frogs from several foreign countries.  I have little, tiny frogs and very large frogs and every size in between.  


Probably the best known writing about frogs is the story of the fifth plague Moses brings against Pharaoh.  
1. Then the Lord said to Moses, "Go to Pharaoh and say to him, 'Thus says the Lord: Let my people go, so that they may worship me.
2. If you refuse to let them go, I will plague your whole country with  frogs.
3. The river shall swarm with frogs; they shall come up into your palace, into  your bedchamber and your bed, and into the houses of your officials and of your people, and into your ovens and your kneading bowls.
4. The frogs shall come up on you and on your people and on all your officials.'"
5. And the Lord said to Moses, "Say to Aaron,, 'Stretch our your hand with your staff over the rivers, the canals, and the pools, and make frogs come up on the land of Egypt.'"
6. So Aaron stretched out his hand over the waters of Egypt; and the frogs came up and covered the land of Egypt.
7. But the magicians did the same by their secret arts, and brought frogs up on the land of Egypt.
8. Then Pharaoh called Moses and Aaron, and said, "Pray to the Lord to take away the frogs from me and my people,, and I will let the people go to sacrifice to the Lord."
9. Moses said to Pharaoh, "Kindly tell me when I am to pray for you and for your officials and for your people, that the frogs may be removed from you and your houses and be left only in the Nile.
10. And he said "Tomorrow." Moses said, "'As you say! So that you may know that there is no one like the Lord our God.
Exodus 8:1-10 NRSV


Pliny, the Roman author who  perished in the eruption of Vesuvius in 79 AD had graphic ideas of the frog as a sex object. In his Natural History he gives particular directions telling how a husband might make his unfaithful wife take an aversion to her lover by means of a frog.
The Symbolic Frog, p. 118 in Frogs by Gerald Donaldson 


I do not love real frogs! I only find inanimate versions appealing! 


My friends, Chris and Jim, brought a gift for me to the retirement and gave it to me the day after, before they left to drive home.  It was a t-shirt with a frog on it which read FROG--Fully Rely On God, giving it's source as John 3:16.  "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life."  My frogs took on a different meaning.  It struck me that I had been surrounded by the most promising message in the Bible.  The promise of eternal life. And I felt assured that I did not need to understand exactly how God worked, only that he did work.  And I needed only to rely on that.  It was a powerful realization. 

Retirement

My son, Dean, who was retiring from the Army with thirty years of service, was expecting the date to be set sometime in April.   I was expecting the date of my first consolidation at the same time.  I had an appointment with Dr. Sprague and her intern, Dr. Chakra.  Chakra is his first name but everyone in the hospital calls him Dr. Chakra.  He is from Nepal.  I have always wanted to attend Dean's retirement ceremony because I had missed his father's due to our divorce.  I had also missed my father's retirement because we were stationed in Germany at the time.  Dr. Sprague seemed to sense my deep desire and decided to delay the consolidation, making it possible for me to go to Pennsylvania!  She scheduled it for May 3rd.  She also decided to remove my pick and to have a port installed for the remainder of my treatment so I wouldn't have to worry with flushing the pick daily.  Dean's retirement was set for April 20th and I flew via Southwest to Pennsylvania on the 18th.  I am so appreciative of Dr. Sprague's sensitivity to the emotional needs of her patients. 

The retirement ceremony was attended by Missy, her two daughters (my granddaughters), and her most recent boyfriend, Lee; Bobbie, Dean's ex-wife and their three children, Travis, Charlie, and Kady (my grandchildren); Dean's former mother-in-law, Kay McClelland; and Chris and Jim Chapman, a classmate of my husband's and the person for whom Dean was named!  Dean's due date to be born was very close to the end of February and it was a leap year, the day of Jim's birthday.  Both Jim and Chuck had had a few drinks and Chuck agreed that if Dean were born on leap year day, Dean would be named after Jim.  Dean Chapman Stodter instead of Dean Travis Stodter, Dean being the name of his maternal Grandfather and Travis, the name of his Great-Grandfather.  As luck would have it, Dean was born on leap year day!  He was named and christened Dean Chapman Stodter. 

There were many of  Dean's co-workers, fellow classmates and friends present.  After several presentations, Dean received the Ancient Order of Saint Barbara, which is rarely awarded and a great honor to receive as an Artillery man; the Legion of Merit Medal; and a Certificate from President Barak Obama thanking him for his thirty years of service.  Then Dean was given the microphone.  One minute for one year!  He had put together a wonderful slide show which showed his Great Grandfather, Col Ezra Stodter, a graduate of West Point, and his family; a slide of his Grandfather, Col. Charles Stowe Stodter, a graduate of MIT--his brother John was the graduate of West Point; and a wonderful slide of his father, Col. Charles Stowe Stodter, Jr.; and a slide of his Grandfather for whom he is named, LTC Vonual Dean Beavers.  He also showed a slide of me and acknowledged my influence!  Dean recognized everyone and paid tribute to them all.  150 years of service!  Everyone applauded enthusiastically at the end of the speech.  Dean was "retired!"

Part of my desire to be at the retirement was because I felt that it was, in a way, my "retirement" too.  My father was a member of the National Guard when I was born, later to fight in WWII, and to serve for 33 years.  I married a young lieutenant who was a career Army officer, had a son who was a career Army officer and had three grandchildren who had served, two of whom were wounded.  Now I am no longer a "dependent!"  I am still eligible for medical coverage, the commisary and PX rights but I am without a "sponsor!"  It seems strange.  I have lived as a civilian for 30 years but have never identified myself as one!

Afterward, we all gathered at a cafe run by the Menonites who very graciously, closed the cafe to other customers and prepared a delicious spread of hors d'ouevre.  Everyone was in a festive mood and there was much laughter and good conversation.

At last, it was over!  Everyone poured into the parking lot and drove to their homes or hotels.  A good time was had by all and I was still standing! 

Rearranging the Kitchen

Cheryl, my daughter came to Massachusetts from Tucson, Arizona, the last week of February to oversee my well-being and recovery from leukemia.  Melissa, her younger sister, and Dean, her older brother had covered the 26 days I spent in Tufts Medical Center on the oncology unit.  My oldest son, Chuck, who lives in Emporia, Kansas, teaches at a juvenile detention facility year round, has faithfully called almost every evening to check-in on my status and to tell me that he loves me.  Missy spent her spring vacation with me, and Dean, a colonel in the Army, had taken leave time to be with me.  I am very grateful for the time and attention they have given me.  It has been an overwhelming reponse to a medical condition that I never suspected having! 

I wish that I was organized enough to write about my experiences as they happened.  I'm not, but I have kept a list of all the things I want to blog about.  And I hope that the readers of my blog will be able to understand and make a coherent whole from the many pieces.  Today I want to blog about the reorganization of my kitchen by my daughter Cheryl!  It is an overwhelming undertaking!

I think some background information is necessary.  I have completed my initial treatment and did very well.  Since then I have had my first "consolidation," a six day period of chemotherapy.  I did well but predictably my white blood cell count faltered.  I was given two infusions and rallied.  Once again I was pronounced as doing well and my second "consolidation" is scheduled for June 4th.  I became 78 years old on my birthday, 24th April 2012.  Although I am doing very well, I tire easily and my sense of balance is frequently a problem.  I am most frustrated by the phenomenon known as "chemo-brain"!  The inability to remember certain words, names, and information.  I forgot the name of a friend and fellow church-goer whom I have known for nearlly 30 years!  It took two days before I recalled it!  The condition is supposed to improve with time.  So age and chemo-brain conspire to reduce me to complete helplessness at times. 

Admittedly my kitchen was a mess.  I live in a small condo and there isn't much room.  Cheryl decided to move all of the food items to the kitchen and make space for them by moving all of the pots and pans paraphanalia to the landing on the way to the basement.  In the process of empytying
nearly all the shelves to the middle of the floor, it was discovered that I not only have an excess of food but also have an excess of kitchen utensils and appliances!  And I do not remember buying most of them!  It's as if I've been in a black-out for years!  Do I laugh or do I cry?  I felt like doing both!  We have three piles: things to keep, things to be thrown away and things to be taken to a thrift shop.  I have read about older persons tending to hang onto food items long past their expiration date but buying appliances when you already have them must be a sign of something very unpleasant.  It was humiliating!

The kitchen is taking shape once again and all the excess will soon be removed.  It has taken two days to finish the project!  I think the prayer of the day will be to keep it simple and to not duplicate.  And to remember that my daughter has rescued me from a mess that I could not have cleaned up.