Give rest, O Christ, to your servants with your saints,
where sorrow and pain are no more,
neither sighing, but life everlasting. BCP
It is a time of life that is unsettling. I have learned that two of my close friends have died in the past two weeks. Jean Dettman of Hingham, MA and Col. Robert E. Brown of Sierra Vista, Arizona. Jean was 89 years old and Bob was 82. They were both remarkable people who both enriched my life and I am very saddened by their deaths.
I first met Bob Brown when he was a Lieutenant in my father's battalion at Fort Sill, OK and I was a student at the University of Oklahoma. He was nice looking and a lot of fun and we dated a few times when I came home on the weekends. Shortly after, I met Chuck Stodter, the man I married, and Bob was a groomsman in our wedding. We were assigned to Jump School in Georgia and after our honeymoon in Colorado, we were on our way. After Jump School we were assigned to Fort Lewis, Washington. Several years later, we did a tour of duty at Ft. Devens, MA and our neighbors were Bob and Judy Brown and their four children! Bob was in Intelligence and had done a tour of duty in Germany where he had been involved with counter intelligence with the Russians. He spoke Russian and could dance like the Russians and was a great hit at parties! He had also been to Korea and his wife cooked Korean food for parties. They were reassigned and we communicated only with Christmas Cards. Bob admired my father greatly and stayed in touch with my parents who had retired in Norman, OK.
Chuck and I divorced. Judy and Bob divorced. They also lost a son in a tragic car accident. Bob called me and took me to dinner when he came to Boston. I don't remember why he was in Boston but I remember being glad to see him and we laughed and talked about the "good old days" in the Army. We eventually began corresponding, and then exchanging email. And he would call occasionally. We had several mutual friends to catch up on. Last year I went to Arizona to visit my daughter Cheryl and my first granddaughter and her family who lived in Benson, AZ. While there we drove to Sierra Vista and visited Bob, whom I hadn't seen in nearly 30 years! We greeted each other with a hug and it was, as it always was, we were friends. Good friends. Friends of many years. He invited my daughter and her family in and took us on a tour of a beautiful home which he shared with his son. He was a collector of art and every wall of the house was covered with paintings. We spent the afternoon engaged in reminiscing and when we said goodbye I promised to come see him again when I came to AZ.
It was with great sadness that I learned of his death. He had not emailed since sending me a picture of an extraordinarily large kidney stone that he had removed. I did not know what hospital he was in and called his home several times until this last week when his son answered and told me that his father had died. Bob had seen me through leukemia. I wish that I could have been there for him.
****************************************************************************************
I met Jean at St. John's Episcopal Church in Lowell, MA. She and her husband Paul had just moved here from Ohio and they were presenting a slide show of India where they had lived
for sixteen years. Paul was a Deacon in the Episcopal Church. Paul was a good looking tall man and Jean was a lovely petite woman. They joined our church and were a wonderful addition. They were a well educated, sophisticated and charming couple. They had six children, three sons and three daughters, who were married and lived in Oregon, California, Vermont, Massachusetts and Ecuador. They were also, all well educated.
Jean and I were both born on the 24th of April and enjoyed celebrating our birthday together. I entertained them with a paella supper before their trip to Spain. Jean loved to entertain and invited me to their home many times. The prayer group met in my home every Friday evening and they always contributed meaningful dialogue. They decided to join another church. Our bishop was not allowing deacons very much participation and Paul became frustrated. We regretted it deeply but understood. Our personal relationship remained the same. Paul and Jean also became very active with the Learning in Retirement Association.
Paul became very ill with cancer and died. His funeral was very large and a lovely tribute to him. Jean was so small and seemed so vulnerable but she was a very strong woman. She continued living in their condo and continued entertaining and continued supporting LIRA. She traveled frequently to see her children. She also traveled with her son Carl and his family every summer. It was on a trip to Italy that she tripped and fell and broke her hip. After convalescing
she moved to Lindon Pond in Hingham near her son and his family. Betty (my 92 year old friend) and I took a days excursion and went to see her twice. She used a walker, was always in good spirits and actively involved in an educational program.
She was a role model for me and I admired her so much. I feel sure that Paul was waiting for her.....
Rest eternal grant to them, O Lord;
And let light perpetual shine upon them.
May their souls, and the souls of all the departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
BCP
No comments:
Post a Comment