In the military you develop friendships in an unusual way. When we were assigned to a new post there were new people to meet. A commanding officer with a staff assigned as he saw fit. There were no women on duty then. We were invited to all social functions and became well acquainted with our fellow officers and their wives.
We did not always like all the members of our group but we were acculturated to always maintain a civil attitude and we always found those couples with whom we had a lot in common and genuinely liked!
We were stationed in Bamberg, Germany in 1970. My husband was a battalion commander and a Col. Barnett DeRamus was post commander. He was married to a charming woman named Betsy and they had four children. We had so many good times with them. They were both from the South and Barnett was the epitome of a Southern gentleman. He was very tall with white hair and was very good looking. His favorite person to quote was the Duc Francois de La Rochefoucauld who wrote short pithy sayings. Betsy was very lively and a fun companion. They both spoke Italian having learned the language during an assignment there. They entertained often.
During a training exercise in Grafenwohr when both husbands were gone, Betsy decided to go to Lake La Garda in Italy. She invited me to go along and I was delighted. We rented a small pension near the lake. We drove to La Garda but I don't remember how we got there with all eight children! I do remember the bright green bikini I bought--my first!--for the trip! We spent our days on the beach, feasted on wonderful Italian food, and experienced "la dolce vita."
There was a very famous opera in Verona and they were presenting Aida by Verde. We went for the day and enjoyed the sights, especially reveling in the attention we received from everyone because of our eight children! The "Arena di Verona" was a magnificent coliseum and we settled ourselves on the steps. It was a breath-taking performance and one of my favorite memories. The children were good and fell asleep on the steps!
We returned to Germany with unforgettable memories. They have dimmed with time but they still give me pleasure to remember them. With the pleasure there is pain. Shortly thereafter Chuck was reassigned to Kelly Barracks in Stuttgart, Germany. Which meant, making new friends. Which we did. We exchanged Christmas cards with the DeRamus's and caught up with the news at least once a year.
Several years later (at least twenty), after I had moved into my condo, I received a lovely long letter from Barnett. It was full of news of the children and Betsy and that he was dying of cancer. He ended by hoping for news from us and he made a final request that I might write to him. I am ashamed to say that I never did. I intended to but my words went without saying. Betsy wrote a letter when he died. Now that I have leukemia and have contemplated my own death, I am saddened by my lack of response and wish I could say I'm sorry. How often have I ignored my good intentions?
Rest eternal grant to him, O Lord;
And let light perpetual shine upon him.
May his soul, and the souls of all the departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen
Book of Common Prayer
Barnett has heard your sincere apology I am certain.
ReplyDeleteI remember the trip to Italy to what was then to me at nearly 9 years old a gigantic lake! We played freely all day out in the sand.
I also remember seeing the Opera it is one of my few memories for which I can still see and remember details. I have always been able to envision the huge oval of hundreds of stair stepped people, the grand drama on the stage, and my fascination with the idea that I could hear them from so far and there were no microphones! At the end the light sticks that we held up were hundreds of tiny stars ending what was for me a magical night. Perhaps in my half dreamy state (I do recall falling asleep for a good portion of the performance)I became a part of it all. At the very least it did leave the appreciation and wonder you had striven to instil in our young minds. I know you often despaired we might ever understand as you dragged us around to all the most cultural sights. Thank you. :)