Today has been a mixed blessing. I had an appointment with the lab for blood work and a shot that helps my white blood cell count go up. The ride into Boston was pleasant with unusually low traffic and we arrived a little early. Harriet, the woman who runs the lab, was having a break and about four couples arrived in the waiting room. I have nicknamed Harriet my "Chief Vampire" since she has drawn vials from me! The people who congregate in the waiting room usually arrive in twos. One is the person who has cancer and the other is a loved one, a husband or wife, a sister or brother, a daughter or son. After the initial shyness wears off, they engage in questions and inquiries, sharing casual conversation. The female patients sometimes remark on each other's chemo cap and discuss the growth, or lack thereof, of their hair. The men are not as outgoing. Today, there was a woman who came with her brother, and she was knitting a lovely long curly scarf. Cheryl and I were much admiring it and wanted to know where she found the yarn. She told us and said that it was an easy pattern.
A brief encounter but a warm and friendly one. They were both from another country, I didn't recognize the language, and the brother spoke haltingly. There seems to be a very special camaraderie between the persons who have cancer and those who are concerned about them.
Harriet was back and I was called in for blood and a shot that helps reinstate my immune system. Then we waited for the blood to be sent to the blood analyzers. Today I was thrilled! My count was good and I did not have to go to the infusion center! We left and drove home--another pleasant ride with little traffic. I celebrated with a pair of earrings in the gift shop!
I was both elated and a little bit scared. I am more tired this time and I'm having some difficulty with my balance. I list to one side or the other and feel like an old battleship. Of greater concern is that I am worried about my eyes. I am using antibiotic eye drops for ten days. Two drops in both eyes every six hours. I have always been very protective of my eyes because I have worn glasses for most of my life. Until cataract and lasik surgery miraculously restored my eyes to near perfect vision and colors appeared brighter! Now my eyes are not focusing well and I'm having trouble typing on the computer.
On top of it all, the eye-drops are in a ridiculously small bottle and getting another prescription is a pain!
There is always the nagging fear that you will sabotage your own recovery by not having a positive attitude. It is an all encompassing disease.
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