This is my third try on writing a blog I now call
Frustration and Flashbacks. I have tried
twice and both times lost the blogs because I am plugged into the Tufts Medical
Center which frequently has power failures.
It is one of the most prestigious hospitals in America and deserves all
the praise it receives. It is wonderful
and I am grateful to have had their medical insurance and to have been sent
here. But their frequent power failures
are very upsetting!
I had intended writing about my first hospitalization,
an experience that I do not remember well.
Several of the staff has commented on how sick I was and how amazed they
are at my recovery. But I think that
tonight, after losing two blogs, I will write about what is bothering me the
most. Chemo Brain.
I did a computer search on The American Cancer Society
and was encouraged to read that “the brain usually recovers over time.” The following are symptomatic of what doctors
and researchers call chemo brain or “mild cognitive impairment.”
- Memory lapses
- Trouble concentrating
- Trouble remembering details like names or dates
- Trouble multi-tasking
- Taking longer to finish things
- Trouble remembering common words (unable to find the right words to finish a sentence.
“The people who are having problems are well
aware of the differences in their thinking.” It can be very embarrassing and I worry a lot
about repeating myself. I can provide
personal examples of each of the above.
I am doing things more slowly than I used to even when I’m feeling
good. Especially reading. One of my greatest pleasures has become a
source of frustration to me. I have
trouble frequently remembering words. I
couldn’t recall the name of a friend whom I have known for almost 30
years!
Many things can factor into the above problems. I have come to think of myself as a trifecta
of conditions. I am 78 years old, I had
a stroke four years ago, and am now recovering from leukemia. When I have memory lapses, take longer to
finish things, or have trouble remembering common words I wonder if it’s
because of being older, having had a stroke or chemo brain!
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