Friday, June 8, 2012

Flashbacks and Frustrations Part II


Peaches, the only thing I could eat.  Chilled, canned, half-peaches.  They doubtless contributed to the weight loss of 30 pounds!  But they were the only food on the menu that tasted right.  I completely lost my appetite for food.  Unusual for a woman who was overweight because she loved to eat.  It all tasted like hay!  Dean, who was here at the time and a very disciplined person remarked, “Just suck it up, Mom, and eat it!”  But I couldn’t.  My children brought in food from local restaurants but I had the same reaction.  I barely managed to swallow enough food to keep alive.  I was released from the hospital and about five days later my appetite began to come back while eating Pot Roast, Pot Roast with potatoes and baby carrots.  Cheryl was here and she is a very good cook.  She had prepared the Pot Roast for Dean and Travis who drove up to visit me.  I had a very small serving but it awakened “taste” again and it increased every day.  I have never enjoyed Pot Roast so much!  One of the nurses came in to see me today and asked if I was still eating peaches!

I did go shopping for them but discovered that they were not stocked in our two largest grocery stores.  Cheryl and I were browsing the shelves in Target and on the bottom shelf were several cans of half-peaches that were being discontinued.  We bought them all!  I think I am fond of them because I remember eating them as a little girl.  Mother served them often with a dab of mayonnaise and grated cheese on top.  It was a very popular salad then.

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I did not realize how sick I was.  The nurses have said to me, “You were very sick.”  And I’m beginning to realize how very sick I was.  I couldn’t have diagnosed myself as having leukemia but I could recognize that I wasn’t feeling well and wonder why I waited so long to see my primary care physician.  It all started with bronchitis shortly before Halloween.  I have a history of getting bronchitis but I hadn’t had a case in several years.  A lot of it was going around and several of my friends had it.  Most primary care doctors have physician’s assistants to see patients when they are heavily booked, and they usually are, so I booked an appointment with the assistant.  I was diagnosed as having bronchitis and left with a prescription.  But my condition did not improve.

My son, Dean was hosting a family gathering for Thanksgiving and I was planning on going.  But I felt too ill to drive for seven hours to get there.  I was very disappointed but I was just too sick.  Sometime in December our Interfaith Book Group met at a local restaurant and I thought I was well enough to go.  A good friend picked me up but I was tired throughout the dinner and I noticed that I could only eat a few bites of food.  Christmas was my next clue.  My granddaughter, who is a gymnast at Wilson College in PA, came to stay with me while she worked out with a college friend at a gym in Boston.  It meant picking her up at 10:30 pm at the train station.  I had to take a nap every afternoon to do it and I was still clueless.  I kept thinking that the end of January was just right around the corner and then I could see my doctor! 

The next incident frightened me.  I awoke in the morning and while dressing fell to the floor.  I began to develop a rash which I attributed to an allergic reaction to a small bug in my bed sheets.  I got up again, going in the direction of the hall, and I fell again at the top of the stairs.  It was as if I was being pushed.  I had absolutely no control.  Several things came crashing down the stairs.  I don’t remember exactly how I got downstairs.  I remember itching that night and sincerely praying to die!  It was miserable!  I slept in my second bedroom and, in the morning, called my daughter Missy who had worked as a paramedic in Brooklyn and asked what would help the itching.  She said Benadryl so I asked a friend to get a tube for me.  The itching finally subsided and my balance was restored and I saw my Primary Care Physician on our appointment date February 2, 2012.  He heard my story and ordered a blood test.  It had to be a fasting blood test so I went in the next morning and had it taken.  That afternoon he called with the results.  I was very sick.

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